I'm playing ukulele to help relax my boggled-mind. So, maybe it can help you too. :)
Here, I'm just jamming out a chill session,
-talked about random stuff behind the music production.
-Play some unreleased music of mine.
-I make mistake but this is a judge-free zone for me and just...Be...
Written by Israel Castillo
(The Music below helps you get an understanding, sonically,what my vibes are going through
I want to admit what's been on my mind and what I have been feeling to her. I can't, cuz I knew what I was getting myself into from the beginning. Strings...
I admit my lust for her. I admit my curiosities, cuz I ventured through some unexplored boundaries with her. This ignited my spark again. Inside me that spark flared differently with her and her added elements.
She is an adorable person with traits soooo attractive. Her artistic ways, her personality, her taste, it intrigues me. I want to know more about her. We crave creativity and art. Her, Visually, and Me, being Audio. I'm scared, cuz maybe I'm just too stupid and too blind. Maybe, it's just lust. Maybe it's only one-sided. I, truly, don't know her honest-feelings. Maybe, our meeting and events are too coincidental. Inside, she puts me at ease. It feels good, the vibes flows like water. Now it becoming troubled waters streaming down my mind. My experience with her was enjoyable, nonetheless, and I'll continue to be there for her, if she needs someone, at a respectable distance. The way our souls mixed is something I need forever...But it can't cuz...
(A Small Blog):
You're on your way home chilling on the public transportation. A toddler stands on their seat, smiles at you, and says hi.
What would you do?......
Sometimes, my siblings are a pain in the butt. All jokes aside though, they are the ray of hope for a better tomorrow. They hate it when I give them problems/situations where they have to find the answer themselves. They are some situations, where it's best for them to experience first, rather than explaining it. I would guide them, but strongly encourage to find their own way.
The most important duty is to help them remain focus on exploring their creativity. Life has its way with creativity, but it also have its way to discourage it. So..Back to our Question.........
You're on your way home chilling on the public transportation. A toddler stands on their seat, smiles at you, and say hi. What would you do?
Would you look down on your cell phone, or Smile and Greet?
When a child smiles, it is not because they see color, culture, or your misfortunes. It is because they see another life as a child's smile carries hope.
Is that video from your News-feed worth watching over a few seconds to say hello?
You’ve been doing it all wrong.
To know what’s for you — you have to know what you can and can’t tolerate. It’s important to understand who you are and what feeds you outside of someone else. The biggest mistake people make in trying to savor a relationship, is become something else. A mold to fit a lover’s preference. I believe a good partner is someone who can only complement you, not‘complete’ you. Someone who offers a seat at the edge of your mind but can’t teach you how to fly. Only receive as you receive.
You can’t be half-empty waiting for another to make you equal. Love doesn’t dwell in crevices, nor does it survive on a slice. Unearth your own taste, how are you satisfied? We live in a microwave society, both literal and loose. I can’t teach you how to eat salad if you’ve been conditioned for steak and no balance. Learn your love language and communicate how you’re best fed.
In effort to not lose, I notice people bargain their happiness to not feel lonely. I have never been a person to keep drinking the same water which made me sick. Just because you feel good doesn’t mean you’re in the right place, you have to remember that motion — isn’t always progress. Sometimes people come in your life to misuse your energy for hidden wounds. But after a while, the dumb grow wiser and the the liar becomes a master, do not become a victim of this illusion. Even love isn’t enough.
Relationships fail because of misplaced blame. People try to project what the other person does as wrong and they never see their own fault. In owning where you fall short, you give your partner the badge of vulnerability and a bridge to further that truth. Permission isn’t always a verbal agreement, reassurance can be touch, eye contact or close proximity. You recalibrate miscommunication by showing up with an itch to listen. People lie and pretend everything is okay because they’re afraid to be lonely. Overtime you lose a sense of who you are when you commit to partner’s preference and neglect who you really are.
When your partner misuses your pain, you lose trust. Psychologically they wound you as a way to keep your emotions in control for dependency. A narcissist throws you to the wolves as a sacrifice for their own blood. People like this often misplace trauma to compensate for healing that isn’t real. You can’t give someone the responsibility for your happiness because the moment they mishandle that illusion — they become your enemy. You lose everything. You have to know who you are before you give yourself to someone else. You learn to decipher better what is and isn’t for you.
You have to remember comparison is a failed system in a quest for results. People don’t stay together for reflection, they learn to stay by cleaning each other’s mirrors to find crystals in all the dust. Do not forget to kiss your partner’s wounds while you lick your own. Salt heals but it burns, who are you to your lover, who are you to yourself?
When you learn to answer that question, even your pain will grow nutrients. Feed and be fed. This is how we all survive.
Thank you for reading. if this resonated at all, click the green heart below so other people on medium can see it. 💚 Follow me on Instagram / Twitter
The more I live, the more I aim to be just an "Average Joe" without a subconscious mind and live as a sheep until kingdom come. Maybe then, I'll be satisfied with my life's direction. But I can't, and I know I won't EVER be. I can't figure out if I'm born or cursed with an ambition to chase a goal, inspired by outside influences, or a question with an endless loop. At the same time, I acknowledge YHWH is within us or left us our greatest answers from within. I ignore it time and timing again. But When I look. I am honestly scared. At the same time, I'm feeling dumb for being afraid of something; I don't know what to be afraid about. I just live on. Open and Honest as I make an honest effort to tackle my contradictions.
Do I take the safe route or Do I take a chance in the streets?
I want to be a recording/performing artist. It's not my only priority. I want to become an Animator. I am also interested in being a web developer. I ABSOLUTELY don't want to go back to school. The criteria required to get a degree is outrageous. Who needs a history on the US Government to become a 'black' web developer under White America? Volunteers? Great! Your total amount is: *Ring* an arm and a leg. Just kidding. We will need your agreement to pays the total amount with interest. if you die your co-signer is legally-liable to pay us back. You get a free pen, though!. :D
I would love to go to a bootcamp course on coding. Only thing is: I'm hesitant on taking out another loan, and stack it on top of another one. I'm already over $19,000 in debt with my incomplete Associate's Degree in applied science for.....Entertainment Management. :D It may seem like I'm ashamed of taking the program. I'm not. I found some amazing people at Bay State College in Boston. I had up's and down's, but mostly enjoyable experiences. I found someone special while I was in college. If there was one thing, I got out of Bay State College. It was her. <3 Even then, I feel like I'm getting played. That's a different blog for a different day.
I need a healthy salary job to be financially-stable. I wanted to become a web-developer, because 'accredited' sources says Junior & Senior web developers receive a sustainable annual salary from 40K-120K per year. The job market is expected to grow exponentially, due to businesses need developers for their business sites. Sweet, sign me up! Did these accredited sources forgot to mention Net Neutrality and how it can affect future web developers?
Q..) HOW LONG IS TOO LONG? WHAT IS TOO SHORT? WHAT IS THE LONGEST YOU'VE GONE?
My Honest Answer:
You can, very well, have a bomb-ass 10 - 15 mins!
An honest 30 - 40 mins can be a bit, too long. Now if she wants to go there. We can go there. Two key-things to justify the length of sex: the strength of your Spiritual connection and Foreplay. One of the BEST kind of sex is when ya both end up COMPLETELY out of breath. When you look into each eyes and say "DAMN. That was good!" and you lay there with your heart, in silence, for a few minutes. Just Staring and smiling at each other. Not 1 word, but you understand each other perfectly.
AKA No fakes, Nothing Forced.
Everybody has their own preferences. Honestly, it's between ya two. There isn't any justified answers, unless it's coming from your heart and your significant other.
P.S. An advice to the fellas who don't know: It's wayyy more satisfying when she cums. I promise.
The Teeny-Tiny Blog
This is where I post my blogs and blogs I find over the net with good reads